doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
