I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
i think i just lost a toe
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize