Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
