How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
