Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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