If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
