lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
