so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
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