One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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