I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize