i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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