No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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