the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
