I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I want to have your abortion
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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