Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
