bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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