Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
