Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Randomize
