she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Randomize