I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
You can't special order awesome
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
