I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Randomize
