we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
How naked do you want me to be?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
