Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
