just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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