I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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