I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
send nudes
from the living room?
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
