i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Acid is not a monday night drug
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
