im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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