Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
We need to get me chipped asap
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
