If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
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