guys are not supposed to queef...right?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
