Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
