Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I have surprise drugs for everyone
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
