i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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