What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
