my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Say something about gay babies.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
