well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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