yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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