We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
