There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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