the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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