Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Randomize
