Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Randomize
