i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
