so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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