So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize