Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Someone shit on the floor
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
