He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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