They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
