WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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