She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
