don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
So apparently I’m into choking now
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
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