I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
So. Much. Porn.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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