we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
