i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
