the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
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