We won't sleep together?
That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
