Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
