Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
