There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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