sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
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