so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Randomize
