Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
