It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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