You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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