C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
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