Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize